Guest post by Michele Engle, CMHC, NCC, EMDR clinician
I recently saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a few years, and she shared about the loss of a child. Although the death of her child had taken place several years before, while we were talking, she experienced a brief moment where her grief seemed as though it was brand new. While some might say that she “should be further along”, what makes one believe this is necessary?
Alan Wolfelt,Ph.D., wrote a paper called The Mourner’s Bill of Rights. In it he lists 10 “Rights” that you may have as you mourn the loss of your loved one. In one of the rights he lists he says that “you have the right to move toward your grief and heal. Reconciling grief will not happen quickly. Remember, grief is a process, not an event.”
Reconciling grief will not happen quickly… it is a process, not an event. No one will grieve in the exact same way as you may, and so your timetable will be different than another. You have the right to experience your grief uniquely, in a time frame that is suitable for you.
If you find that in your grief you are struggling on a daily basis, find a friend and/or counselor who can help to walk with you during this time.